WHY MEN LIES

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One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Ali Baba Jin appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?" The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living. The Jin went down in the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Jin asked. The woodcutter replied, "No."



The Jin again went down and came up with a silver axe. "Is this your axe?" the Jin asked. Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."
The Jin went down again and came up with an iron axe. "Is this your axe?" the Jin asked. "Yes", he replied. The Jin was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

A WEEK LATER


The woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Jin again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?" "Oh Jin, my wife has fallen into the water!"


The Jin went down into the water and came up with Britney Spears.
"Is this your wife?" the Jin asked. "Yes," cried the woodcutter.
The Jin was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"


The woodcutter fell to his knees and cried, "Oh, forgive me, Jin. It is misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Britney Spears, You would have come up with Jennifer Lopez. Then if I also said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three.



Jin, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, and I love my wife such that I don't want her to share me with anyone, so THAT'S why I said yes to Britney Spears."



The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others....MOSTLY his wife!
That's my story, and I'm sticking to it..

Cheers !!

THE CAMEL STORY


THE CAMEL STORY






A mama camel and her baby camel are talking
one day when the little one ask, " Mum, Why I have
got these 3 toed feets?"

Mama Camel replies, Well my little camel, when we
trek accross the dessert your toe will help you stay
on top of the sand so that it will prevent you from
sinking.

I see! said the little camel.

A few moments later, the little camel ask, Mum,
Why I have these lovely long eye-lashes?"


Mama camel replies, they are there to keep the sand out of
your eyes on the long journey through the hot dessert.

Thats wonderful Mum, replies the little camel.

A short while later the little camel asks again , Mum,
Why I have got these great ugly humps on my back?


Mama Camel replies, Oh, they are there to help you
store water for our long journey accross the dessert
so we can go without drinking water for very long
periods.

Wow!! That great, replies the little camel. We have
great feet to stop us from sinking into the sand, long
eyes-lashes to keep the sand from entering our eyes

and the humps to store water, BUT Mum !!!

Yes, my little camel? replies Mama camel.


BUT THEN,



"WHAT THE 'FARK' ON EARTH
ARE WE DOING IN THE ZOO?? "



Mama Camel was stunned and said TIU !! GO BACK TO
YOUR CAMP.!!

NOT ON TALKING TERMS

Mo Lan Yung and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silence treatment. This has been
going on for more than a week. The Company which the man is
working has assigned him to fly to Kuching for a business meeting.


The problem is, Mo Lan Yung has the habit of NOT waking up early

in the morning. He realized that he would need his wife to wake him
up at 6 AM for an early morning business flight to Kuching


Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he confidently wrote
on a piece of paper saying " PLEASE WAKE ME UP AT 6 AM "


The very next morning, Mo Lan Yung woke up only to discovered that
it was already 10 AM. He had missed the flight to Kuching.


FURIOUSLY, he was about to go and see why his wife HADN'T
woke him up WHEN he noticed a piece of paper by the bedside.


The paper said, " IT IS 6 AM, WAKE UP NOW!!



KAKAKAKAKA


URGED FOR YOUR PRAYERS


I urged whoever is reading this to perform your Prayers,
whatever your Religions or Believe in for Blogger Wingz
Rojak's dad for his
Speedy Recovery (refer link) and
Blogger Siao Cha Bor who is in (coma) Gleneagle Hospital,
Ampang for her
Speedy Consciousness.


http://garglewithseawater.blogspot.com/



May your prayers be Bless with Good Health and Happiness.




Thank you

THE HOSPITAL WINDOW


THOUGHT OF THE DAY


A great note for all to read it will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking. Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours to end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.


Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.


The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.


As the man by the window described all this in details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the pictures scene.


One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it In his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.


Days and weeks passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.
As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.


Slowly and painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.


The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

Epilogue: There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy. "Today is a gift, that's why it is called the present."

HOW TO TELL THE SEX OF A FLY



How to Tell the Sex of a Fly.

JUST TOO CUTE.


A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Hunting Flies" He responded.


"Oh. Killed any?" She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.


Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"


He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone." !!

AT THE BEACH




Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals,
sunglasses,etc.

The next morning, they went to the beach, dressed in their "tourist" garb. They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a "drop dead gorgeous" topless blonde in a thong bikini came walking straight towards them.


They couldn't help but stare. As the blonde passed them, she smiled and said "Good morning, Father. Good morning, Father," nodding and addressing each of them. They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests? So the next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits. These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them.

Once again the two priests (incognito) settled on the beach, in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine. After a while, the same gorgeous topless blonde, wearing a string, taking her sweet time, came walking toward them. Again she nodded at each of them, said "Good morning, Fathers," and started to walk away.
One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said, "Just a minute young lady." "Yes?... she replied.


"We are priests, and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world did you know we are priests - dressed as we are?" She replied, "Father, it's me ... Sister Mary Francis!"



HAHAHAHAHA






THE TWO FALLEN ANGLES

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said:

"Two Prostitutes -- $50.00."
A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail.
Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: "JESUS SAVES.

One of the girls asked the policeman, "How come you don't stop them?!"
"Well, that's a little different," the officer smiled . "Their sign pertains to religion."
So the two ladies of the night frowned as they took their sign down and drove off.
The following day found the same police officer in the area when he noticed the two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again.

Figuring he had an easy arrest, he began to catch up with them when he noticed the new sign which now read:




"Two Fallen Angels Seeking Peter -- $50.00."

THE LAW OF SEEDS









Take a look at an apple tree. There might be five hundred apples on the tree, but each apple has just ten seeds. That's a lot of seeds! We might ask, "Why would you need so many seeds to grow just a few more apple trees?" Nature has something to teach us here. It's telling us: "Not all seeds grow. In life, most seeds never grow. So if you really want to make something happen, you had better try more than once."This might mean:

· You'll attend twenty interviews to get one job.
· You'll interview forty people to find one good employee.
· You'll talk to fifty people to sell one house, one car, one vacuum cleaner, one insurance policy, or a business idea.
· And you might meet a hundred acquaintances just to find one special friend.When we understand the "Law of the Seed", we don't get so disappointed.We stop feeling like victims. We learn how to deal with things that happen to us. Laws of nature are not things to take personally. We just need to understand them - and work with them.

IN A NUTSHELL Successful people fail more often. But they plant more seeds.When Things Are Beyond your control, here's something that you must NOT DO so as to avoid misery in your life:

- You must not decide how you think the world SHOULD be.
- You must not make rules for how everyone SHOULD behave.

- Then, when the world doesn't obey your rules, you get angry- That's what miserable people do!On the other hand, let's say you expect that:-

Friends SHOULD return favours.
- People SHOULD appreciate you.
- Planes SHOULD arrive on time.
- Everyone SHOULD be honest.
- Your husband or best friend SHOULD remember your birthday.These expectations may sound reasonable. But often, these things won't happen!

- So you end up frustrated and disappointed.
- There's a better strategy. Demand less, and instead, have preferences!- For things that are beyond your control, tell yourself:

- "I would prefer "A", but if "B" happens, it's OK too!"This is really a change in mindset. It is a shift in attitude, and it gives you more peace of mind ...You prefer that people are polite ... but when they are rude, it doesn't ruin your day.You prefer sunshine...but if it rains, it is ok too!To become happier, we either need to change the world or change our thinking. It is easier to change our Thinking!

In summary,It is not the problem that is the issue, but rather it is your attitude attending to the problem that is the problem.It's not what happens to you that determine your happiness. It's how you think about what happens to you!

PASSPORT DETAILS EXPOSED


This may come as a shock, but I've come accrossed a website that hold everyone's passport details. The sad thing is that anyone can access other people personal info.
I've removed my info from this website. I suggest you do the same. Click

at the Title or Link to enter.


Happy deleting. Bye !!

THE WAVE - KEEP IT GOING



JUST WANTED TO SAY HI

and Hope you Have A Great Day

DON'T DELAY YOUR HAPPINESS. PEOPLE WILL FRITTER AWAY THEIR ENTIRE LIVES WAITING TO BE HAPPY. FOR THEM, HAPPINESS IS ALWAYS JUST AROUND THE CORNER - SURE TO HAPPEN WHEN THEY FINISHED SCHOOL, GET A JOB, FIND A SPOUSE, HAVE KIDS, GET THE KIDS OUT OF THE HOUSE, CLAIM THEIR INHERITANCE, RETIRE ETC.

THE TRUTH IS YOU'LL NEVER BE HAPPY THAT WAY. EXPERIENCE HAPPINESS NOW, FROM WITHIN, BY APPRECIATING THE GIFTS AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU'RE ALREADY BLESS WITH, RATHER THAN WAITING FOR SOME ELUSIVE EXTERNAL EVENT OR ACQUISITION TO TAKE PLACE.

WHY MAKE YOURSELF CRAZY? BE HAPPY GO LUCKY !!!

 
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