WELCOME TO ACEONE'S AIR

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I had a wonderful dream last night and it was too good
to forget. That is become a pilot.!! Walan eh..when I
was a little boy whenever I saw an aeroplane flew above
the sky. I told myself, me too can fly a commercial
airplane. My first birthday present is a model MAS
aeroplane. I tried to keep my eyes in good conditions.
I tried to do well in my studies. I tried everythings!!
and it didn't worked out the way I wanted it to be.
Well, that was history. It's only in my dreams.

DREAMS....DREAMS.. DREAMS... DREAMS...

Today who wanna fly with me? I will be the Captain
and AhPek is my Co-Pilot with 30 years sexperience.
Here it goes!
_______________________________________


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A very good morning ladies and gentlements. This is
your Captain ACE speaking. I welcome both seated and
standing passengers on board of Aceone's flight 911. I
aplogize for the delay in taking off due to bad weather
and some overtime I had to put in my blog.

This is flight 911 to New York. Landing there is not
guarantee wan but we will end up somewhere in United
States. If luck is in our favour, we may even be landing
in your kampongs.

Aceone Air has an excellent safety record. In a matter
of facts our safety standard are so high, that even
terrorists are afraid to fly with us. As for service, we
are rated one of the best in this region.

Cabin crew for ladies are Janice, Mirror, Lil Joy,
Nyonya. (all leng lui wan). Cabin crews for guys are
Ah Ben, Ah Nel, Kaw Wee and Pisang.

Kindly be seated and try to keep your seat in an
upright position for take off and remember to
fasten your seat-belt. For those who are seated but
kenot find a seat belt, kindly use your own belt to
fasten it on your seat. And for those who are standing,
please do not hesitate to get in touch with our leng lui
stewardess who will explain how to fasten yourself to
your own suitcase.

We regret to inform you that today's flight movies will
not be shown because Ah Ben forgot to record it from
Astro Cinemax. Foods and drinks will be serve in the
1st class cabin and economy class passengers will not
be given any things except bananas. My cabin crew
Pisang will be most happy to assist you. After eating,
fellow cabin crew Kaw Wee will collects all plates &
glasses for washing.

There is no smoking in the airplane and we know this is
a long journey flight. However, we give sympathy for
those who really kenot tahan then please look out for
my cabin crew Ah Nel. He will take you to the engine
room and have a smoke. However, if you see different
kind of smoke, don't be panic. It is an early warning
system on the engines telling us to slow down.

If our engines are too noisy for you, on passengers
request we can arrange to turn them off for you. My
Co-pilot AhPek is expert in this. In order to catch
important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible
for the best available views. Nevertheless, if we fly
little too close please do not hesitate to let us know. My
Co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmarks!

If by mistake we landed in Bayan Lepas Airport, my
leng lui cabin crew Nyonyapenang will give you free
tour of Penang all cost paid for.


Thank you for flying Aceone's Air. Have a pleasant
journey. Happy Bon-Voyage.!!!!!

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Wingz.... woi wake up la ... !!! You dreaming ka???


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WUAHAHAHAHA...

THOUGHT OF THE DAY - UNFORTUNATE ONES

I received this e-mail from a good friend from S'pore.
This e-mail made me realised that my brader just
blogged a similar post which said that we should
appreciate what we own...

Lets us not forget the unfortunate. Some of this pictures
might bother you.


















DOG NAMED SEX

I'm sure most of you fellars have a pet for companion.
Today story is about AhBeng's pet name Sex. One day
AhBeng went to DBKL to renew his dog license.

AhBeng : I would like to have a license for Sex. How much
do I have to pay?

DBKL clerk : Oh .. I would like to have one too but we do not
issue license for sex.

AhBeng : Er..but this is a dog !!

DBKL clerk : I don't care if it is an animal or human being or
how it looks like but sir we do not issue license for sex!

AhBeng : But you don't faham la.. . I've Sex since I was 12 years
old.

DBKL clerk : Then hor..I must have been quite a kid ler.!! Pegi lah!

When AhBeng got married with Ah Lian, they went to a honeymoon
and the couple brought the dog along with them becoz no one is taking
care of the dog. After looking for a while they found a motel and
checked it.


AhBeng : Hi, I would like to check in and I need two rooms. One for
me and my wife and a spesel room for Sex.

Motel reception : Errr...every room is in place for sex wan. We have got
all the spesel mirror for you to see your own actions wan.

AhBeng : You don't understand... Sex always keep me awake at night!!
and I can't sleep!

Motel reception : kekekeke... me too!!

While still on honeymoon, AhBeng was taking his dog for a morning walk.
Two street down the corner, AhBeng bum into a crowd at the padang. It
is a dog competition so AhBeng quickly que and want to register for the
event. While queing AhBeng dog ran away wondering else where.

Contestant: AhBeng, what are you desprately looking for?

AhBeng : MCH...I looking for Sex. I 've planned to have Sex in the contest.

Contestant : Dui..where got sex contest here!! Are you crazy??

AhBeng : But you dun understand, I really hope to have Sex on TV.!!

Contestant : Are you showing off your KKC ar?

Back home, AhBeng and Ah Lian had an argument and both of them
went to the Ketua kampong to fight for custody of the dog.

AhBeng : Ketua Kampong... I veli not happy. I wan to fight custody
for Sex ! I have Sex before I got married to Ah Lian !

Ketua Kampong : kekekeke... me too ! I have sex many times too before
I jadi ketua kampong.!!


Wakakakakaka...Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

BULU KETIAK (ARMPIT HAIR)

Yesterday, my friend here blogged about armpit hair. She
asked what would happened when you see a women
wearing sleeveless with a jungle hidden under her
arm. What would be your reaction? Probably, many
of us guys would get disgusted with that or perhaps
some of you might get turn on.

AhPek's friend also told him that a woman with armpit
hair got big sexual appetite wan. Can some womens
here enlighten us please!!. Many says that China mali
punya Piao Mei all don't shave wan. Wah..liddat their
bulu....errr!!!

What about womens reactions? Probably, the womens
may start to gossip. Eeee.. look at that women so
"wart tat" wan, or some may say " chee sin" or "yerr"
didn't shave then don't wear sleeveless la !! "thor
sui kar"!!

Now, I wanna show you some bulu also ler!! Very chun
body wan ler. Sometimes, things are not imagine them
to be. I'm decent you know!You got to wait around 3
seconds to see the reactions.



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Scroll la
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Almost there ledi... wah..so syok..I learn this from Tan Sli Wingz
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WUAHAHAHAHAHA...!!



So what do you think? Mens armpit hair? What are your
reactions?

THE GOOD AND BAD ABOUT HELL

One day AhBeng died and found himself in hell. As he was
wallowing in despair, he had his first meeting with demon.

Demon : why so sad AhBeng?
AhBeng : what do you think ? I'm in hell wor !!
Demon : Hell is not so bad la...we actually hor have a lot
of fun down here wan. Do you drink anot?

AhBeng : Yes, I do drink and I love to drink, why leh?
Demon : Well...you gonna love Monday then. On Monday

hor our job is DRINK oni !! Whiskey, Tequila, OhKao,
Tiger, Anchor, Singha, Heineiken ...soma ada !! We drink
till we throw out and then we minum again.!!

AhBeng : Wuahahahaha...liddat chun la.!!

Demon : Do you smoke anot??
AhBeng: You better believe it lor... 2 packets 1 hari ohh !!
Demon : Aha..then you gonna love Tuesday ! We get the
finest cigarettes from all over the world and smoke our
lungs out. If you get cancer,' no big problem. You're already
dead, remember??

AhBeng : Fuiyoh...that's awesome..free cigarettes la..mahai
I bought 7 linggit for one packet. Here free...chun..veli chun..

Demon : AhBeng, I believed you gamble, right?
AhBeng: Yes, as a matter of fact i do gamble geh.
Demon : Then Wednesday is the day la. You can gamble all you
want. If you go bankrupt ledi, well..you're dead anyhow.!! You
into drugs anot??

AhBeng: Are you kidding me?? I love drugs."You don't mean...'"
Demon : That's right..Thursday is drugs day !! You can help
yourself to a great big bowl of crack or smack. Smoke the doobie
the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, you're
dead.., 'who cares !

AhBeng :Hmmmm..Liddat I'm starting to feel better about my
situation ledi. I never tot hell was such a cool place.!!

Demon : Are you gay?
AhBeng: "No", why?

Demon : Oooooooh, you gonna Hate friday !! becoz all newcomers will
kena fark bekside wan.!!


Wuahahahahahaha...Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting






FERRARI VS JET FIGHTER

German ace Michael Schumacher is recognised as
being the World's Best Formula One race driver.
7 times F1 World Champions.

The video I'm posting here is speaking in German.
Don't know what it is saying.

Ferrari racing car vs a Jet Fighter on different
runway.

Can Michael Shumacher reach the finish line first
compared to the Jet Fighter?

What say you?



7 times F1 World Champions.



Upload videos at Bolt.

POLICE CARS OF SOME COUNTRIES

Oh man, I wish if I could have one of these cars.
Lamborgini Gallardo is my pick. What's yours?



Police car from France - Lamborgini Gallardo.
Max Speed is 320 km/hr.




Police car from Italy - Pegaut Sport GT.
Max Speed is 300 km/hr.





Police car from Japan. - Nissan Skyline GT-R.
Max Speed is 280km/hr.






Police car from Spain - Audi TT. Max Speed is 280km/hr





Police car from USA - Chevy Corvette. Max Speed is
unknown.





Now for the ultimate police car in the world -Manila Finest.
Max speed is not disclosed due to Security Reasons!!



Sorry la, Malaysian Police car is not listed!

THE JAPANESE TOURIST

After spending a week of holidays in Malaysia this Japanese
tourist named Liamamotor decided to go back to Tokyo. He
had earlier booked a taxi from his hotel room schedule at
3.00pm and asked to be taken to KLIA.

On the Sepang Highway, a car zoomed by speeding toward
the airport. Liamamotor responded,"Huh.. look its a Toyota
Camry. Made in Japan. This car very good. Very fast !

The taxi driver Pakcik Dollah also responded ,"Ya ya..Very
fast. Not long after that, another car overtake Pakcik Dollah's
car. Liamamotor quickly responded, huh.. look its a Nissan
Cefiro. Made in Japan. This car very good. Very fast !

This time Pakcik Dollah kept quite and ignore Liamamotor.
About half a mile before reaching the airport, another car
zipped by, Liamamotor without hesitations responded, look
its a Honda Accord. Made in Japan. This car very good.Very
fast !

Pakcik Dollah being a complete 100% Malaysian and supported
Malaysian goods was starting to get a little irritated that the
Japanese made cars were overtaking his Proton Iswara, when
yet another car passed his cab right as they were turning into
the airport. Oh.. its a Mitsubishi ! Made in Japan! This car very
good. Very fast ! Responded Liamamotor.

This time round, Pakcik Dollah TU9lan already. Finally, they
arrived at the airport, Pak Dollah pointed to the meter and said,
" One Hundred Twenty Ringgit !"

One hundred twenty ringgit??? Why so much ?? Liamamotor asked.

This taxi METER ! Made In JapanPhotobucket - Video and Image Hosting. VERY FAST !!

Liamamotor spoke in Japanese.. $$??Yen#@**..

Pakcik Dollah said pay up and don't play play..!! Duii !



WUAHAHAHAHAHA..

FIFA WORLD CUP 2006- ITALY THE CHAMPION



Congratulation to Italy for lifting the Fifa World Cup 2006.



THE TEN DEADLIEST CREATURE





POISON DART FROG

This pint sized frog are not for kissing. Their backs ooze
a slimy neurotoxin that is meant to keep predators away.
Each frog produces enough of the toxin to kill 10 humans.




CAPE BUFFALO

When faced with a predator, cape buffalos charge head-on.
That is 1500 pounds beast topped off with two big sharp
horns. You're lucky if there is only one - the real danger
comes when a herd of thousands stampedes in your direction.








POLAR BEAR

Sure they might look cuddly at the zoo but in the wild they
eat elephant seals for breakfast. Get between one of its cubs
and it could easily rip off your head with one swipe of its
giant paws.





ELEPHANT

Not every elephant is as friendly as dumbo. Elephants kills
more than 500 peoples a year worldwide. Arfican elephants
generally weight in around 16,000 pounds - all the better
to stomp you with, not to mention their sharp tusks.






AUSTRALIAN SALTWATER CROCODILE

Don't mistake this croc for a log !!. It can lay still in the water
waiting for passers by. Then, in a blink of an eye it will lunge
at prey, pulling it underwater to drown and dismember.




AFRICAN LION

Giant fangs? Check.. Lightning quick? That too. Razor sharp
claws? You betcha. Hungry? You better hope not. These big
cats are near perfect hunters.






GREAT WHITE SHARK (4)

Blood in the water can excite this shark into feeding frenzy
where they will use all 3,000 of their teeths to bite
anything that moves.






AUSTRALIAN BOX JELLYFISH

Also known as the sea wasps, this salad-bowl sized jellyfish
can have up to 60 tentacles each measuring 15 feets long.
Each tentacles has 5,000 stinging cells and enough toxin
to kill 60 humans.




ASIAN COBRA

While the Asian Cobra doesn't hold the title of venomous, it
does the most with what it has. Of the 50,000 deaths by
snakebite a year, Asian Cobra are responsible for the
largest chunk.





MOSQUITO

Most skeeters bites just make you itchy. But some mosquitoes
carry and transfer malaria causing parasites. As a results, this
little pests are responsible for the deaths of more than two
million peoples a year.

So the WINNER is Mosquito !!

COFFEE ANYONE??

This video is awesome. The services provided by this
company is unbelieveable and you can't find this
services in Malaysia.

Starbuck Coffee, Coffee Bean, Station Coffee and others
also cannot challenge this place. How do you wish this
services is available in our country !!



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Wuahahahaha... Coffee on me, wokeh?

 
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