MR PRESIDENT

Mr President George Bush giving a speech in Indian Treaty Room. But Mr President...I err..err..I err..errr..I err..err..dunno what you toking Mr President.






I err..err..sorry, Next please!

My 1st ANNIVERSARY

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I couldn't believed it !! I've been writing craps, toking kok, blow water, add salt and vinegar, etc.. for one whole blady year. My 1st post is dated 29/3/06 and yes today is my birthday in blogphere. I started blur blur liddat (till now still blur blur la!! hahaha).


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Lucky me as i'm a keen learner, I managed to overcome these obstacles one at a time. The first two comments in my post are in fact myself!! Kakakaka!!!! Hei..I wanted to see what is going on ma! lol. Then hor i was surprised why got one banana commented in my post geh. NMFL!! of course i was happy like a bird lar. He is my first fan si wor!!. My next fews other posts got another 3 new peoples dropped some shit in my comment box wor!! Wuahh!!! of course lagi syiok and kembang la got new fan si kambing in!!! Wah!! can meet new friends ledi. That spurred me to go on till today.


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Along the way, i made more and more friends and my first meeting with these bloggers are with Wingz, Linpeh, Cocka, King's Wife, Angel, Jomel, Poison, Inevitable, Simmielang, Jason, Kat and her husband. We are celebrating Sengkor's and King's Wife birthday actually at the All Star Sports Cafe in Midvalley.

Other bloggers which I also met before are Ahnel, Huei, Lisan, Frostier, Kenny Ng, Ckyeo, Crazygrrl, Janicepa, Shireen, Pisang, My toudai Wenn, Nyonyapenang, Sotongking, Gbyeow, Tonixe, Lehbit, Winn.Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

During the blogger together-gether party, I even met more friends. To meet AhPek after one year , LOL!! Laundryamah, Sasha, 5xmom, AprilNg, Mott, AhBoon, Penny Pupz, Bee Stung Lips, and many..many many..more...!!!! I'm sorry if i have missed your name out. There are just too many of you...hehehe.



These bloggers which i know and have not meet them are ItchymanIchitaka, Danielctw, Pinksterz, AhBen, Mirror,etc..etc..They all shy shy la. Kakakaka!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Who said you cannot find new friends in blogging. Muahahahaha!! today i'm giving free links too same-same like brader Ahpek!! Come! come.. i belanja makan cake!!!!!!


YOU GUYS ARE JUST AWESOME !!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you berry much.Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

THINGS YOU NEVER KNOW ABOUT YOUR HANDPHONE

I just got this from a friend and would like to share it with my readers.


There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies.
 
Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an  emergency tool for survival. Check out the things that you can do with it: 


  1. The Emergency Number worldwide for **Mobile** is 112 .

If you find yourself out of coverage area of your mobile network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. Try it out.   


  2. Have you locked your keys in the car? Does you car have remote keys?


This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone:
 
If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone.
 
Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock.

Saves someone from having to drive your
keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other "remote" for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).
 
Editor's Note: *It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked our car over a cell phone!"


3. Subject: Hidden Battery power


Imagine your cell battery is very low , you are expecting an important call and you don't have a charger. Nokia instrument comes with a reserve
battery. To activate, press the keys *3370# Your cell will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell next time.


AND
 
4. How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?
 
To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits on your phone: 
* # 0 6 #
 
A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. when your phone get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless.


You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either.

If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.
Try it out, you will never know!!


Regards
aceone
 



 


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PROVE ME WRONG

Lately, me at Aceone R&D did a survey. This survey only took me 5 min to do it. After a lengthy study, Aceone discovered that your goodself read my blog with one hand sticking to the 'mouse'!! and wouldn't wan to let go hence you didn't click what you suppose to click after reading. wakakakaka...Right?? Poor me, my score is pratically nil for one week, lol.




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So now YOU !!! YEAH YOU...

Don't taking it off now, it is not too late to click!!!! Tank Q!! I lafu you deep deep....!!!

ONCE UPON A TIME WHEN I WAS SMALL

The other day (18/3/07), Nyonyapenang showed us her baby photo la. I saja gatal go and ask her to show us her nude baby photo. Mana tau she really go back to Penang and hunt for it. LOL!! Now she passed the baton to me ledi want me to show my baby pictures pulak!! kakakaka!!

Nyonya :

(Quote): And oh ya, Yinsi Yat 118 asked to see this which I got it when I was back in Penang a few days ago. Not nude, but only topless. Cute and Lovable, ya?.....

***Now, it's over to you Yinsi Yat 118...please show us your topless photo too.***


(Unquote)




This picture is nyonyapenang as claimed!!!

I doubt that baby is Nyonyapenang worr!! The picture so clear wan and got kaler wan somemore. Perhaps that is her son's mia picture la. kekeke..She susah-susah go bek penang digged that photo for me then if i dun do she tarok me koa koa how? Anyway, I did my homework oso ler... go digged high and low for my baby pictures. Soli ler nyonya, i can't find any nude wan if got also kenot post it here la. Later adsense censor board ban me jialat!!! Before you see it, let me go hide first. Wokeh?? Here my "baby "piktures"!!!










SORRY LA... I no pose porn wan!!! kekeke.

BANK ROBBERY

I'm sure many of you have seen this video before and some have not, nevertheless today I'll give you a recap of this video. These 4 good friends, they used to go to thai kok enjoying spending spree there wan. When their supply of money runs low usually they go rob a bank for more money supply. One day, this 4 good friends are broke and decided to rob a bank. They were discussing and planning which bank to rob.Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket


Lin Peh: Ooi Blader...so have you all decided which is our target?
CKyeo : Of course we go rob a bank la, easy money man!!
Ahbeng : Yalor..yalor..rob bank better la...got cash money!!
Wingz : Okay fellars....bank it is. Our target this time is a bank.

Lin Peh: Which bank are we going go rob?
Wingz : Niama..any bank will do la...which bank's vault got no money wan..you tell me.!!
Ahbeng: I dun care la..any bank will do la...I just wan to finish this job fast fast and go 'char kuat'.
Cykeo : Sky keep you lar... we all go rob Siam Bank this time.Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

The next following day... about 2am liddat, they managed to break into the bank. No matter how careful they were, they are being monitored by CCTV. All the security guard were on the alert liao. Those security guard were wondering why they had chosen their bank as target!. No action were taken yet because they wanted monitor first.

Once LinPeh, Wingz, Ckyeo and Ahbeng are in the strong room, LinPeh slowly slowly opened and matched the vault combination where the money are kept. Once Lin Peh managed to opened the vault.....

Wingz: Oooi !!!! i dun see any money wan? What kind of bank is this?Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Ahbeng : Nmft!!! Just yogurt!! Why no money wan! (all are looking at ckyeo ledi..why he has chosen Siam Bank)
Ckyeo: Errr..soli la blader...I no go skool, I dunno how to read ...I oni saw the a S....Bank ...since we susah-susah here we all eat yogurt la.

Wingz : Sounds good, give me that!....(so after he drank that yogurt and others oso follow la!!Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Muahahahahaha!!!!!!!! Wakkakakakakaka!!!!!!!!!!!


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Niamafulatt!!! They go and rob Sperm Bank!!!










After nine months, we all sama-sama go visits them at the maternity ward , wokey?


Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Wakakakakakaa!!!!!!!!!!

A TAG FROM LAUNDRYAMAH

Aiseyman, I can escaped from Wingz and Huei from doing this tag but cannot escape from amah. I ask her to promote my blog to her neighbours she pulak give me work doing this tag. Anyway, manyak tenkiu amah for remembering me. Errrr...A-Z tag izzit?? wokeh....tarak problem wan geh. Here goes;-




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A for Akua, ie: I no play play Akua wan. I no play septic tank wan la.!!!

B for Breast, ie: Every woman's breast one big one small wan geh !! (tuah suei liap). Go and check correct anot!

C for Char Kuat, ie: If you are tired I gip you free 'char kuat' !!!

D for Dohleen, ie: They called my grandma Dohleen.

E for Eye-Fi, ie: I'm also a partner in Olin series of producks, Eye-Fi is invented by me!!LOL.

F for Feikei, ie: Lin Peh is a feikei yau always no come for meeting wan.

G for G-string, ie: What G-string? Thong got la, I rekoment you see Lisan mia Thong!!!

H for Hailat, ie: If i no do this tag sure hailat wan! Kenot play play with amah later she bring watermelon knife i sure die wan.

I for Implant, ie: Lin Peh just went for breast implant, he/she asked mama to buy bra and got rejected!! Muahahahaha (refer here)

J for Juice, ie: Izzit it wetwetliutliut mia juice? Muahahahaha, LOL

K for Kanasai, ie: After doing this tag, I know sure kena kanasai wan.

L for Lin Peh, ie: Brader Lin Peh, do you know that someone "arm luen" sama lu??

M for Mor mor cha cha, ie: Taukeh soh..I want eat your mor mor cha cha pls? The 'tong sui' la, what you thinking jek??

N for Nen Nen, ie: Mummy I wan nennen!! (Left nennen is hot, right nennen is cold izzit?).

O for Orlando, ie: If you cannot shit go find this place called Orlando!

P for Por por, ie: I wan go pluck por por!!

Q for : duilor dunno what to write tim.

R for : Rotikia, ie: If you go Sg Wang can find alot of rotikia!

S for Sohchai, ie: The fler who came out with this tag is sohchai!

T for Tailok, ie: When peeing in the toilet dunno why Wingz showed everyone his tailok dick.

U for U, ie: I lafu U deep deep wan geh.

V for Viagra, ie: If your brader no wake up, take 1 bijik viagra pls.

W for Wingz, ie: I graduate from Lin Cocka wan.

X for X-rated, ie: Cocka wanted a pair of X-rated glasses which can see thru clothing wan.

Y for Yinglish, ie:I graduate from Lin Cocka, thats why my yinglish sucks!

Z for Zodiac sign, ie: My zodiac sign is Lion.

WHILE ON THE ROAD

Due to the nature of my job, i'm always on the road travelling to my clients destination be it far or near. Sometimes to find an address which is ambigious would get you crazy especially the backyard factories. You will end up calling the person to confirm the address again and again similar to this one below. kakaka!!







When you are over and done with your appointment, you need to get some fresh air outside. Stretch-stretch here and there. ..to loosen up your muscles and saw this thing together-gether on top of the lamp post. Perhaps liddat can get better reception la wei!!! or get free 'ass throw'??
Faster do one at home!!!






While you were travelling again on the road and stopped at the traffic lights near the housing area, tiba-tiba you found so many free melons for you to pluck. Kakakaka!!! Adoi!!! Why can't they hang it inside for god sake. Oh no, wait!! she is giving you free hints on what number to buy in the next magnum draw. I can oni figured out 1311, what say you??





While speeding to Subang Jaya for the next appointment at the north south highway, some sorhai is trying to be funny on the road. Niasing!! the mat rempits at it stunts again. Look at the passenger at the back, she is wearing red kaler undies la wei!! Got 'ong' la today!!! Dis time really must wack magnum kao kao ledi.






Lunch time is about 2pm liddat. Arrived at subang SS15. My god, to find a place to park here is like hell. Around and round ...aiks..finally got one. You got to be quick or else your parking place kena snatch wan i tell you and you must buy your parking ticket fast...why? those sorhai are hiding behind the trees waiting to give you a summons for not displaying parking ticket. RM100 fine you know!! While walking to the nearest kopitiam for lunch, someone offer you easy loan (cash money). No nit guarantor wan. So...if you forgot to bring your wallet or handbag, make no fear they are people to help you wan. Just your handphone will do the trick ledi. Muahaha.









The weather nowadays is so freaking hot and it is burning outside. Some of you so 'syiok' sitting in the opis under the aircon happily chatting in MSN and blogging away. I so jeles la. Kam-bing back to this hot weather even spiderman "cicakman" want to comeout to show off . Hahahaha!!! LOL.






Hahaha..I'm just clowning away only la. Nothing much. While driving back to opis, suddenly this fler over take me and gave me a hon. Niamafulatt!!!! WTF???



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Now you see!! I'm not the clown ....HE IS !!!!!!! Muahahahahaaha!!!!!!!!!

A TAG FROM HUEI

Got tagged again from leng lui Huei. It is about what is inside your bag. Huei, since i don't carry a bag like all 'si lai' do, all i can show you is my 'kung si pau' wokeh?



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Things inside my bag which includes:-


1). My cash sales book - While on the road, if got sales i use this cash book. No time to go back opis to print invoice la.

2). My insurance policy - car and life insurance. This is where kills me. Bulan-bulan bayar and yearly bayar. Pay until leg cramp ledi. Not only this kena bayar others things also ler.

3). Name card - Opis mia name card and Yinsi Yat mia name card. kekeke

4). Thumb drive - 1GB removable thumb drive just in case got porn to download!! kakaka

5). Passport - Must have this with me just in case all the ahlongs come and find me.!! Liddat can 'cheok choh' faster ma lol.

6). BirthCert - I Dunno why i always carry this with me.

7). Cheque book - This cheque book is to con people wan. Take goods issue bounce cheque. Mana mau cari!!!

8). Pens - My magic pen. Mali-mali humm!!


Hahahaha...that all you can find in my bag. Nothing much you can see in my bag ler. Okay, kau tim your tag. sau kung! Not tagging anyone this time round. hehehe.

THE BLOGGER PARTY 2007 WAS FANTASTIC!!

The biggest ever Blogger Together-gather party 2007 was a successful one. Many thanks to Wingz and other committee members for making this party a memorable one. It was fantastic having all of you at the party.

We would like to thank our sponsor namely PIKOM, Cinema online, Pleasant Surprises, Federal Hotel, 5xmom, Digi, Pixart, nuffnang, Pianoforte, Cooking Island, Zone e, S&P, Advertlets.com, RedesignMalaysia.com, Hoong Bee the Composer and Kid Chan Studio for your generous support towards this party.


Below are some of the captured pictures of the event.




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The venue of the party





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Goodies bags for all the participants





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Wingz presenting the Blogger signatures board to Pikom Chairman





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Scenes at the party





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Scenes at the party





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Scenes at the party





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Scenes at the party




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Scenes at the party





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Scenes at the party




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Scenes at the party





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Our sponsor fro nuffnang





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Our sponsor from Advertlets





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Hehehe..I cilok-ed this photo from cincauhangus's blog. No one actually want to take it for me, so what else? I go hunt for this group photo lor!! kekeke (Photo compliments from shaolintiger.com)




We hope to see you again next year!!!! Thank you.













Disclaimer




Notice is hereby given.

Boys and Girls, Uncle, Aunties, Gay and Lesbian etc..beware!! This blog is for adults viewing only. If you are 18 years old and below, please get your dad or mum approval to view this site. If not please click the
red X on the top right hand corner to exit. Also, if you don't like what you are reading or seeing, please click the red X to exit.

This blog contains Hamsap Story, Sometimes Obscene pictures which can be disturbing to some readers. This site may at times bother some viewers like YOU.

AceOne118 will
NOT hold any responsibility in case you go insane, loss of income, loss of your time, whatever ...etc!!!!

VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED!!!!

MY TOUDAI KENA BULLY!!!!!!

My toudai Wennn came to my yahoo messenger yesterday. When I saw her, aiks!! why she kept her head so down and her eyes so wet wet (tau tap-tap ngan sap-sap) liddat geh! When i ask her what happened, she told me that pisang-goreng has tagged her to do the same tag 5 times wor! Wuahh!! do the same tag 5 times ka? Liddat mana boleh!!!


Dun worry wenn wenn, sifu got idea. I help you revenge this banana. leng mou? How?? Well, I'm going to exposed his face la. So... Wenn, next time you see this pisang somewhere, dun give chance. Wollap him kao kao, Wokeh??? Bring watermelon knife if you have to, lol.


How I got his picture? Oh..its liddis wan. Last 3 months ago when pisang admitted into hospital to do operation I got visited him in hospital. I also helped him changed his diapers and lap lap his body la. So when he is not noticing, i quite quite snapped his naked body with my camera phone ledi ler. Up to today he dunno I oledi took the picture wan. kakakakakaka!!!!!!!!


Ah Wenn, after seeing his naked body, I hope you happy happy ledi la, kekeke!!! Tapi hor... you must scroll scroll abit lor...dun so 'kan cheong' see his kukuciao can anot??


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some more la!!!!!
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going to reach now ledi, fai tit!!!!!

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ta daa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Muahahahahahahaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Now I can see my toudai smile ledi!!! Yapa..Dapa..Doooo!!! Next time who bully my toudai and my 'mui mui' sure kena wan!!!!! kekekeke.!! Oh..yes, I still owe people a tag. I nochet do the tag. Please slow slow tunggu, can?? I do it after the party ler!!

Adios!!






A TAG FROM PINKSTERZ

Aiseyman, another tag for me to do. *sigh* This time from Pinksterz. This tag bag sag got many parts one leh. The blue ones are the questions and the orange colour are my answers. Okay lets do a quick one. Here goes:-







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Part 1 - One The Outside

name: aceone118
date of birth : 29/3/06 - dis wan is my blog mia bird-day la! hehehe
current status: I'm available!!
eye colour : I wanted blue, can??!!
hair colour : Dark brown
righty or lefty: I'm a lefty
zodiac sign: I'm a Leo



Part 2 - On the Inside


your heritage : Slowly counting the time ledi.
your fear : I fear of people not ghost
your weakness: It is my health i'm concerning.
your perfect pizza: I dun like pizza wan leh!


Part 3: yesterday, today & tomorrow

your thoughts first waking up: : Work for money
tomorrow: I dunno yet..see got appointment anot
your bedtime: Unpredictable wan, normally 3am !
your most missed memory: my bird-day party at the beach!



Part 4: - Your Pick

pepsi or coke: I like 100 plus more or kickapooh
mcd or burger king: Burger king (the australian one taste nicer)
single or group dates:Date with who leh???
adidas or nike: I can only afford 'fung keong'
lipton tea or nestea: I like 'cham peng' - every morning sure kena one glass geh.
chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
cappucino or coffee: cappucino from Crown


Part 5 - Do you...

smoke : Yes I do
curse: sometimes, if you talk behind my back.



Part 6 - In the past month

drank alcohol: I drank Root Beer
gone to the mall: It was yesterday at The Mall checking prices for my taukeh Lin Peh.
been on stage: I very sked wan
eaten sushi: Does it tastes good?
dyed your hair: Oh yes, many times liao until it is dropping ledi. *sigh*


Part 7 - What were you doing?

1 minute ago: I was digging my nose a minute ago!
1 hour ago: I was checking my orders and printing invoices.
41/2 hours ago: I was doing hard labour delivering goods.
1 month ago: Can you specify which date are you refering to last month?
1 year ago: I can't remember la, kakakaka


Part 8 - Finish the sentences

I love : to go deep sea fishing.
I feel : hungry at the moment.
I hate : people who stab me behind my back.
I hide : I got nothing to hide.
I miss : my parents (they're no longer here)


Part 9 - Tag 5 peoples

ah beng
ah lian
ah cock
ah tooh
ah put

Kakakaka, wokey..'beres' ledi your tag Pinksterz!!

 
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