Maid asking for a raise

Once upon a time, there was this maid working in Malaysia. She has been working for Madam for about 3 years now and she demanded for a raise. The Madam was very upset about this and asked:

Madam: Maria, why do you want an increase salary?

Maria: Well Madam, there are three reasons why I wanted an increase....the first is that I iron better than you.

Madam: Who said you iron better than me?

Maria: The Master said so.

Madam : "Oh."

Maria: The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.

Madam: that is absolute nonsense, who said you were a better cook than I?

Maria: The Master said so!

Madam: "Oh.

Maria: My third reason is that I am a better lover than you!!!

Madam :(very upset now): Did the Master say so as well?

Maria: "No Madam, the gardener did. If you don't want me tell tell master that you and the gardener are having sex....!!!!!

Maria got her raise.




Madam: sweating9xa

Shleppers Moving & Storage Co.

Moving from one States to another States can be very stressful when you have to drive long distance with the heavy loads behind your truck. Fear no more! Let the experience people at mover NYC handle this task for you. They are the most suitable people to make sure all your belonging reaches the destination be it Residential local moving, long distance, Commercial or International. The best part is you can decide whether to pay them “Flat rate” or “Hourly Rate”. Testimonials, Awards and comments from the clients show it all. If you are moving, call their toll free 1-800-84-SHLEP or locally at 212-223-4004. Shifting is so easy now!

Wholesale Insurance

If you are looking for the best insurance policy to meet your needs, I would say Wholesale Insurance is the premier site for you consider looking at. With 36 years of experiences in this field, they had helped thousands of people to get the best insurance policies that value for their money. They offer the best term life insurance quote besides various types of insurance policies like Life, Mortgage life, High risk life, Smoker’s life insurance and many more. At Wholesale Insurance, you can compare the quotes and rates for all the companies listed below in the website all in one screen. I’m sure you will get the best quotes from here!

Bunny and the snake

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Once upon a time in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. By surprising coincidence both were blind from birth. One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit.

'Oh, my,' said the bunny, 'I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I've been blind since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going. In fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am.'

'It's quite OK,' replied the snake. 'Actually, my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and work out what you are, so at least you'll have that going for you.'

'Oh, that would be wonderful,' replied the bunny. So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, 'Well, you're covered with soft fur; you have really long ears; your nose twitches; and you have a soft cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit.'

'Oh, thank you! Thank you,' cried the bunny in obvious excitement.

The bunny suggested to the snake, 'Maybe I could feel you all over with my paw, and help you the same way you've helped me.' So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, 'Well, you're scaly and smooth, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone and no balls. I'd say you must be either an accountant, or possibly someone in senior management.'

Drug Treatments

Steven is a drug addict for about six months now. He was a happy guy before he took drugs. It is all because he had joined the bad company. Whenever I see him take drugs, it saddened me always. I told him that I have found a right place for him to kick his habit.

At this drug rehab center, the drug treatment programs are very good and the success rate is proven to be extremely high if he follows it closely. There are plenty of certified therapists and experienced staffs to help Steven fight drugs. If you have a friend or know someone who is a drug addict, please call 800-501-1988. You could change their life.

Laptop

If you’re thinking of getting a desktop computer or a laptop computer for home or business use, you should get it from the experts. Buy.com has been offering quite a lot of good brands and at affordable prices. They are in this business for many years and are one of the pioneers in this field. Whether you’re getting a personal computer, computer systems, accessories or looking for internet needs, they will provide you with all the answers and solutions you need. Call now at
800-800-0800.

Donkey In A Well

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One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less

NOW --------

Enough of that crap . .

The donkey later came back and bit the shit out of the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected, and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:

When you do something wrong and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you.

you have two choices...smile and close this page or pass this along to someone else to spread the fun.

I know what I did!!


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Go on holiday

I know that your life is stressful, mine is too. Everyone deserves a holiday. I’m going to let you in a little secret that I’ve found. You can get cheap flight at dialaflight.com. Go on a vacation you truly deserve. Visit New Zealand to relax and unwind from your hectic lifestyle. Dialaflight is the leading independent UK travel company which offers best priced flights to Wellington from Heathrow airport from only £670 valid from 16 April 2008 until 15 June 2008. Check out their selections of New Zealand holidays and holiday offers. I’m sure you find it irresistible. They’ve got something that fit exactly what you’ve got in mind. Call Dial A Flight at 0870.333.4488 and speak to their experienced consultants who will make sure your requirements are fulfilled.

Tennis

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World number one Roger Federer capped another breathtaking season with his fourth Tennis Masters Cup title in five years after making brief work of the sixth-ranked Spaniard David Ferrer in straight sets on Sunday. I was watching this game at home in Astro sport channel.

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Playing before a capacity crowd at the noisy Qizhong Tennis Stadium and under the backdrop of the sound of Swiss cow bells and Spanish trumpet, a staid Federer improved his unbeaten record against Ferrer to 8-0 lifetime. You are the best!! Hey, that day did you watch my darling Maria Sharapova vs Justine Henin?

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Bathroom sinks

If the paint on your bathroom vanity is peeling, the counter top is stained, cracked or loose, it is about time to upgrade and improve your outdated bathroom facilities. We use the bathroom everyday and having a bad degraded bathroom is the last thing you ever wanted. Live up your bathroom today. A new contemporary bathroom sink will give your bathroom a subtle elegance and add color and light to your bathroom. Faucet.com has a wide selection of latest design for your bath decor and all of their bathroom sinks are of highest quality. Let the expert show you how to transform your bathroom into a masterpiece. Visit their website or call tolls free 800-444-5783 for further details.

High Quality Swiss Army Luggage

I know that you spent really good money on your traveling bags and that you want to be able to carry to it while you are on vacation but sometimes the luggage bag you are carrying is not of high quality and might give way. Thankfully, luggagesource.com has a great selection of high quality Swiss Army backpacks and luggage traveling bags. Yes, you hear me right. Probably, you have heard of Swiss Army knifes but not Swiss Army luggage. I find it very durable, reliable and dependable. If you are thinking of traveling, then the Swiss Army selections will be perfect choice for keeping your clothing and other stuffs.

Friendship

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Introduction

A true friendship is built on trust and honesty, is able to withstand
the test of time, and possesses the capacity of forgiveness.



1. Foundation.

A friendship is built on a solid foundation, which enables it to
withstand adversity and conflict. For example, a true friend will
understand your underlying feelings in spite of your outward actions.

2. Respect.

Respect is the key to any successful relationship; and without it,
there can be no true friendship. For example, a true friend may
disagree and share a different opinion in a caring and thoughtful
way, not in a scornful and disdainful manner.

3. Intimacy.

A friendship involves the sharing of personal and intimate
information, which is safely held between friends. For example, a
true friend will hold a confidence no matter the burden.


4. Enrichment.

A friendship provides a richness to each friend by giving each a
sense of value and importance. For example, a true friend is able to
give love, compassion, attention, and compliments unselfishly.


5. Nourishment.

A friendship nourishes the soul and makes the heart sing. For
example, a true friend knows how to plant seeds and empower in an
honest and loving way.

6. Dance.

A friendship resembles a perfectly choreographed and perfectly
synchronized dance between two partners. For example, a true friend
knows what step you are going to take before you take it.


7. Support.

A friendship provides support during times of need. For example, when
you are walking a difficult path, a true friend is there to quietly
walk beside you and to give you whatever is needed no matter the
circumstances.


8. Harmony.

A friendship is a harmonious bond between human beings where
different ideas and thoughts may be freely shared with each friend
having the capacity to fully understand. For example, a true
friendship involves an honest exchange of ideas without chaos or
conflict.


9. Inspiration.

A friendship serves to inspire. For example, a true friend possesses
unconditional kindness and love, which inspires others to exemplify
the same traits.


10. Partnership.

A friendship is a partnership with both friends working together to
create a synergy. For example, an obstacle is more easily and
effortlessly overcome with the help of a friend.


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Wholesale Flowers

We will be having our yearly company annual dinner 2007 at the Crown Princess Hotel on the 24/12/07. Several of the committee members has been assigned to handle to do their respective tasks like banners, lightings, arrangement of table and chairs, guest arrivals, booklets, lucky draw gifts and the list goes on.

I was assigned to order flowers for the occasion. I’m looking forward to buy fresh flowers and it is in bulk purchase. My wholesale source is theflowerexchange.com. They have great wholesale flowers directly from the farm. I’m placing my orders earlier for freshly cut Roses, Orchids and Carnations flowers and ask them to ship it to my destination at a specific date.

Nike Golf Clubs

Fl Sam invited me to play golf at his golf club in Saujana Golf and Country Club. I’m excited about it and will be please to join him this coming Sunday. I would like to buy the latest golf balls, bags, shoes, gloves, putters and other accessories from Nike golf clubs selections. It would be great to spend an enjoyable evening with old friends and colleagues at the greens. Although I’m not a pro in this world of golf, I remembered that the last time my highest score is the 9th holes and I intend break this record. Wish me luck!

Morning Call

Hor Ny Ang Moh and his girlfriend were having some problems at home and they were giving each other the silence treatment. This has been going on for more than a week. The Company which Hor Ny Ang Moh is working has assigned him to fly to Kuching for a business meeting.


The problem is, Hor ny Ang Moh has the habit of NOT waking up early in the morning. He realized that he would need his girlfriend to wake him up at 6 AM for an early morning business flight to Kuching. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, Hor ny Ang Moh confidently wrote on a piece of paper saying "PLEASE WAKE ME UP AT 6 AM "


The very next morning, Hor Ny Ang Moh woke up only to discovered that it was already 10 AM. He had missed the flight to Kuching. FURIOUSLY, he was about to go and see why his girlfried HADN'T woke him up WHEN he noticed a piece of paper by the bedside.

The paper said, "IT IS 6 AM, WAKE UP NOW!!


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Eastcoastphoto.com

I’m sure there are lots of camera shops at the mall but not all of them offer and sell the same quality and products as Eastcoastphoto.com. I remembered last couple of months ago I bought a lithium battery for my Canon Power Shot A570 IS digital camera, it turned out to be a fake battery. It didn’t last long as I expected. I’m very mad of being cheated. Since that day, I have been buying all my laptop batteries, digital camera batteries and camcorder batteries from the trusted source. If you want to buy good quality batteries, check out Eastcoastphoto.com today!

Luxury Homes

I met my old classmate Peter yesterday evening. We were having a couple of nice cool beers at the bar while chatting about the good old days while at college. He is working as a real estate agent in the property field. He asked me if I’m interested in investing in luxury homes. He told me that now it is the right time to invest in property market.

I would like to discuss this matter with my family members first before committing myself. A second opinion is better than none. I wouldn’t want to regret it later if I have made the wrong decision although I would like to have a comfortable luxury home.

Horny Ang Moh's girlfriend getting Horny

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One cool raining night, Horny Ang Moh and his girlfriend were lying in bed. Horny Ang Moh was falling asleep but his girlfriend was in a romantic mood and wanted to have Sex. She said, You used to hold my hand when we were courting. Why you don't do that anymore?

Horny Ang Moh reached across, held her hand for a second, and rolled over to try to fall asleep.

A few moments later his girlfriend said, Last time while we were still dating you used to kiss me wan. Horny Ang Moh irritated, he leaned across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled back down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later his girlfriend said, Then you used to bite my neck wan wor. Angrily, Horny Ang Moh threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed. "Where are you going?" his girlfriend asked.

Going to the toilet to get my damn false teeth la if not how to bite you jek?


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Muahahahaha!!! Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Payday Loan Quotes

When I came back from work yesterday, I was surprised to see my car garage had collapsed due to a heavy downpour. It was raining heavily and the strong wind must have blown it down. I called up my close friend John who is a carpenter and asked him to come over to have a look if he can repair it. He quoted me $1,500 for the repairs including workmanship. I’m broke and didn’t have a clue where to get funds to repair my garage. My last paycheck has been exhausted and I ran out of money this month.

My brother who is leaving nearby also came over and suggested that I apply for a loan for the repair. He told me that I can get instant approval and it is hassle free loan. According to him, it is called Faxless Payday Loans. I can borrow from $200 up to $1,500 without any credit check on my financial status. Moreover, I do not have to place any collateral to apply for this Faxless Payday Loans. This is the best news I received all day!

Without hesitation, I call up their number 1-888-615-4346 to enquire about this loan. I can apply it online using the simple form provided and my brother told me to fill in the particulars accurately so that they can evaluate my application and approve it. Once approve, the money will be deposited into my bank account of my choice and I can repay them from the same checking account at an agreed date. I’m glad to have known this website.

KISSING EXPLAINED

Today this blog got kissing lesson to learn. The first kiss you
learned is always from when you are a kid. Kissing should
always be done while the two of you are alone. This is to avoid
any unnecessary embarrassing situation.


Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Kids especially girls like to kiss. They learned this skill at young
tender age.




Here are some basic tips on kissing.

1. Firstly, brush your teeth la of course. You must have good
breath before you kiss. You wouldn't want to kiss someone with
bad breath, would you?

2. Your lips must be moist. Run your lips with your tonque once
before you kiss. By moisting your lips it is easier to move your
lips over your partner's and give both you and your partner a
more pleasant experience. This is a must to remember!!

3. Positioning also play a very important part of kissing. What
happens if your partner is taller or shorter than you? In that
kind of situation, sit and kiss is recommended!! kakaka..

4. While kissing, for heaven sake... close your eyes will you?
You wouldn't want to open your eyes to see what his hands
are doing, isn't it!!


The most popular type of kiss is the 'french kiss'. This involves
touching your tongue with your partner's tongue and it can be
quite a pleasant experience. You may play around a little bit
with your partner's tongue. Exchanging saliva in this type of
kiss is necessary.!! Now having learned how to do kissing, it
is time for pratical. Remember to roll your tongue out. Please
scroll down for the one and only french kiss you ever remember
in your life.



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Fai tit la...where is your tongue jek??






Wuahahahaha!!! Got cha!!

Kenmore Refrigerators

I remembered when we newly moved into our new double storey house in Desa Park City, we have purchased all our furniture and fittings brand new. All the new designed indoor and outdoor lightings are awesome. It fit into our home nicely and all our friends and relatives happy for my family. Every one in the family is very excited about it. What I need to do now is look for quality long lasting electrical appliances like Refrigerator, 34 inch Plasma Television set, Microwave Owen, Rice cooker, Washing machine and many others for my house.

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My uncle who is staying in San Francisco has been using Kenmore Refrigerator for more than 15 years. He told me that all Kenmore Refrigerators are of highest quality and long lasting. He strongly recommended me to purchase this refrigerator. I believed him fully. Now I have to decide whether to buy both 20.6cu.ft. Top freezer refrigerator or 4.6cu.ft Compact refrigerator which is for my private room. I would like to have a nice cool beer while watching football on television.

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Eyes Test

Here is a very simple test to check your eyes sight. You can check if your are short sighted or long sighted or maybe you can even see colors in this picture. I would like to ask WHAT can you see from the picture below? Please be honest. Hehehehe.




If you can't see what words are written in the picture, you probably need a pair of glasses. Here a clue for you. Try to pulling both your eyes lids to your left and right until your eyes nearly close. What do you see now?

Kichler Lightings

lighting


Kichler brand name in lighting fixtures and home lighting accessories are providing you with more choices of quality lighting for your indoor and outdoor lighting categories. The design will surely fit perfectly to your liking. The ceiling, bathroom, pendant, chandeliers lightings I believe will give you the styles and top class finishes options you have been looking for all you indoor lightings. Great outdoor products lighting like wall and hanging lanterns are simply beautiful. If you want great products, great services and most of all great prices, wait no more get Kichler lighting today.

Beautiful and comfortable clothing

I’m delighted to buy most of my clothing apparels at clothing4all.com because most of the time I’ll get cash discount and at wholesale prices. The more I buy the more I saved. There are a lot of branded brands names like Hanes, Gildan, port authority clothing and many more. All of the clothing are so beautiful and comfortable. It will look nice on me. I wouldn’t need to worry about shipping and packaging because clothing4all.com is one of the most reliable online stores I came to know. I would like to deal with them again and again.

Gift Cards

Online shopping is one of the things I like to do whenever I want to purchase some products for me be it like clothing, tie, watches or office equipments. I can do it at the office, home or at a friend house where internet connection is easily available nowadays. Online shopping is very popular now mainly because of its speed and ease of use.

Christmas holiday season is just one month away and there are so many things to buy for my family, relatives, friends and colleagues for Christmas presents. As for my family members, it is very easy to buy Christmas gifts for them because I knew what they wanted for Christmas. Just yesterday alone my niece requested me to buy her a big Barbie Doll Christmas present and my nephew requested for a pair of soccer boots for himself to able to join the school football team. He has been reminding me several times already.

I overheard from my boss that nowadays peoples are getting more popular on giving gift cards as a present. That gave me an instant idea what to buy for my friends and colleagues. I really have no idea what to buy for them and wouldn’t know what their preference is like. I would rather let them choose what they wanted to get for themselves. All I need to do is to buy gift cards and distribute it to them. This coming week, I need to buy more of the gift cards and present it as Christmas present gifts.

Oh yes, I like what I’m seeing in the website. There are so many popular gift cards on parade for example Brookstone, Nordstrom spa, Home Shopping Network, Perfume Emporium, Design Within reach and the list goes on. I’m glad to have known this shopping gift cards website. It is just awesome!

Shy guy

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"

She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations." To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?"

 
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