Don't go to the bathroom on October 28th. That is tomorrow. CID intelligence from bukit Aman reports that a major plot is planned for that day. Anyone who takes a poop on the 28th will be bitten on the ass by an alligator. Reports indicate that organized groups of alligators are planning to rise up into unsuspecting toilet bowls and bite them when they are doing their dirty business.
I usually don't like to do this, but I got this information from a reliable source. It came from a friend of a friend whose cousin is dating this girl whose brother knows this guy whose wife has a hairdresser whose husband buys hot-dogs from this guy who knows Ahbeng who sell fish from the local market.